The less you care what others think, the HAPPIER you’ll be.

LOSS OF COMMUNICATION CAN KILL? How communication does really work? What does its importance? Monday (10:59 pm) She is Larrah she is an achiever and has a good attitude, joyful/ jolly, friendly and has a good heart. Her parents go to their work for their future. She has a sibling, and they are not close with each other. One night, she arrived to go home from school and he found her parents and siblings so busy. She said to her parents and siblings “goodnight”, and then she went to her room, locked the door and cry in silence. They think that she’s asleep to her room that’s why they didn’t bother her. She thinks that they didn’t care about her. She thinks that everyone didn’t care about what she feels and she is always okay. But they’re all wrong. Tuesday (10:41pm) She’s on her school glad with her friends while doing different activities. She is so active and joyful after her class. She went home and as always she found out her parents and siblings busy. She already said goodnight and go to her room and locked the door again her parents think that she’s asleep. She goes to her study table and twirling her pen while crying she tried to write some kinds of stuff. Wednesday (09:53pm) She was happy with her friends without knowing that she had a difficult night every day. No one knows on her suffer every night. She can’t sleep; she ate by her thoughts at night. She cries in silence and no one knows that. She’s in pain but no one asks how she feels. Everyone thinks that she’s okay, she’s doing fine. Her parents have no idea how she thinks and how she feels she can’t tell them because they are busy and no time with each other. At night, every time she got home she feels nothing an empty feeling that lead to sadness without knowing why. All she can do is to cry and cry and cry and worse she even thinks to suicide. Thursday (11:13pm) She’s on her room, sat in front of her study table. She stares on the blank paper while twirling her pen. Her tear can’t stop while writing a message to her parent and sibling. She crumpled the paper every time she wrote her tears droplets ruin every paper. Ten minutes ago she already finished her notes and leaves it to her desk. As she closes her eyes and crying until her final tears come. She cut her wrist and her blood escapes her heartbeat/pulse stops. Friday (6am) Her mother doing their breakfast and her father drink a coffee while reading the newspaper. She yells her name to eat her breakfast “you’re already late”, her mother said. Larrah has no response that’s why her mother goes upstairs and go to room thinking that she’s asleep knocked to the door of her room as her mother panic and yells to her father to take the spare key on her room. Until the door had open, your mother cries when your lifeless body had found on your room your father tried to sink in what happens, his tears start. Her siblings go to the room because of what noise they heard and they stared at her and started to cry. They tried to understand why you did that to yourself. Saturday (04:32 pm) Her mother stares at her picture and cry in tears. Asking so many questions, thinking about what your answer is. Sunday (1:30 pm) The last burial, it is the last time they saw Larrah’s angelic face. This is the time that they leave a message and everyone on burial is in tears too. The friends, the teacher, the family is crying in tears. Missing you and remembering those times that you’ve been created with them and cherished those moments. Sad to think that would never have happened again. Everyone thinks it’s their fault if someone asks her on how does she feels she was still alive until now. Monday (10:59 pm) Her parents go to Larrah’s room and found out a letter “a death note”, which she left on her desk. Dear to my families and to my friends, It’s Thursday 11:25pm, I want you to know that day was the day I need you, someone I need to talk, someone who understands me and I know that my family only does it. But wrong, you both are busy by doing your work you have no time and even you don’t care about me. My siblings are busy too and they didn’t know what I feel every time they don’t want to talk to me. Sorry mom and dad, I don’t want to disappoint you. I love you and thank you for everything I know that you are busy for our future but we have no time for each other in fact, we have no communication. I feel that I’m an air that you can’t see while I’m at home I ate alone, I celebrate alone and yes being alone is so hurtful than other things. I hope you understand what I’ve done this is not your fault it’s me, my decision a permanent decision. Mom, dad I’m tired of being alone while you were there and my friends are there too. We laughed together I know that they have no idea how I suffer at night behind my happy face yes I pretend there is no such happiness when your family talks with your problems and to what happens on you but it doesn’t happen to our family.

I feel the good communication with my friends but it hurts because I think I bothered them when I tell them my problems. They think I’m overacting and an over-thinker that’s why I feel problematic. That’s why I keep my mouth shut up and at night cry in silence. I learned how to act happy behind my sadness moment at night. To my families, it’s not your fault again I love you more than this. To my friends, it’s not your fault too. I hope you’ll learn a lesson from what happens on me I really hope that you understand how does the communication really important.

Sincerely,

Larrah

 

(Photo from Google)

Breathe in, breathe out. Relax! It was just a bad day, not a bad life. Stop worrying and focus on the now. – Me convincing myself and yours too

 

“What if things turned out differently?”
“If only I did my best…”
” I should have given a much effort.”

 

These are just some of the thoughts that kept disturbing my mind. Recalling things almost consume my time. I am full of “what if’s” and “if only” that I can’t already focus on the present.

 

I admit, sometimes I want things to turn the way I wanted, who does not want to? But if it causes you to be depressed into something, Is it still good? What we want doesn’t what we always get. Remember, we are not the one who’s in control with our lives. We don’t know what will gonna happen tomorrow or for the next five years. Letting go is one of the key to all our troubles.

 

Our memories and experiences affect our actions and decisions. I am actually at the point of my life when I do not allow myself to be completely happy even if there is a reason just like my upcoming debut. I know I should be happy especially that I will be the one who will gonna plan and decide for my birthday but the fact that you somewhat lose interest because of the negative thoughts of mine such as “they might laugh at me” or others might not attend because I am not really a sociable person are taking me. My experience of me not liking by others is a part of it.

 

I realized that holding on to past doesn’t do anything well. It just makes you even worse. Sometimes, we blame others because of the bad things that are happening to us because we are looking for a reason for our incompetence. We waste our time getting angry with others, a thing that always happens to me. Acceptance is what we also need.

 

Our experiences must be used as a tool and not as a reason for you not to try or do something new. As a quotation says “In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.” – Deepak Chopra. Let’s face, accept and let go from everything that hindrances us to move forward.

 

They say letting go is the hardest thing to do but I must say nothing is hard when you wanted to change for the better. The only question is “Are you willing to truly let go?” As for me, I am finally letting go.

 

Again, breathe in, breathe out. Relax! I told you it was just a bad day, not a bad life. Stop worrying and focus on the now. 🙂

But he answered and said, it is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

Matthew 4:4

 

Naaalala ko pa ang sandaling kinuha ko ang larawan na ‘to.
Ika-18 ng Hunyo, taong kasalukuyan.
Habang nasa loob ng isang sikat na kainan, tanaw na tanaw sa bintana ang magulong paligid ng Avenida.

Ang mga nag-uunahang sasakyan, nagmamadaling mga tao, ang ugong ng tren, ang maiingay na busina’t sigawan. Idagdag mo pa rito ang mabahong usok na nalalanghap sa buong paligid.
Sa gilid ng mga gusaling nagtataasan, makikita ang mga nagtitinda sa bangketa. Kaniya-kaniyang diskarte sa pagtawag sa mga mamimili.
Habang tinititigan ko ang larawan na ito ngayon, isang realisasyon ang pumasok sa isipan ko.
May malalim na kahulugan pala ang magulong paligid ng Avenida.

Na ang sulok palang ito ng Maynila ay nagrerepresenta ng ating bansa—ng Pilipinas.
Tayo ang mga taong nagmamadali, ang mga nagtitinda sa bangketa.
Tayo ang mga taong nagnanais ng pag-unlad ngunit ayaw pakawalan ng paligid na hindi umuunlad.
Tayo ang mga taong nakakulong sulok ng lungsod na hindi na umabante.

Hanggang dito na nga lang ata talaga.
Mananatili ang magulong paligid at walang pag-usad na magaganap.

Ako sayo’y humahanga
Sa bawat ngiti mong nakakatulala
Sa bawat halakhak na iyong nililikha
Sa sulyap mong tagos sa kaluluwa

Ngunit bakas pa rin sa iyong mukha
Ang lungkot na di malaman kung saan nagmula
Ang bakas ng kahapon na pilit dinadala
Mga dalahing maaari bang iwan mo na?dahil tandaan mo na…

Ikaw ang araw sa bawat panibagong umaga
Ikaw ang ulan na sa puno ay nagpapabunga
Ikaw ang bahaghari na nagpapahiwatig ng pag-asa
Ikaw ang buwan na tanaw ko mula sa bintana

Itim, puti, lulungkot at lalamya
Mga ibon ay di na muling kakanta
Ang payapang dagat ay wala na
Kung ikaw ay lilisan sa mundo kung kaya tandaan mo na….

Ikaw ang lupang bumubuhay sa mga halaman
Ikaw ang ulap na kay ganda pagmasdan
Ikaw ang simoy ng hangin na kay sarap sa pakiramdam
Ikaw rin ang bituin sa malawak na kalawakan

Ikaw..

Ikaw ang mundo….